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If I had a dollar for every time I heard myself say, "Nice hands!"...

If I had a dollar for every time I heard myself say, "nice hands!" I could retire now. Anyone else feel that way sometimes?? 

One difficulty is that we don't want to ignore something hurtful that a student does to another student because the child on the receiving end may feel that their feelings are not being acknowledged. So planned ignoring / extinction is not possible at those times. However, I have some other ideas for you.

Remember that understanding the function of the behavior is key! Then when you know the function, here are some strategies to deal with hurtful hands.

1. Positive practice

If a student hits another student, you don't want to ignore it. You can have the student practice doing something better, like a hi five. Have them do it 3-5 times, then they will be tired of it that positive practice!

2. Social skills group game

Make up a simple game practicing nice hands. This is me making up a game right now: play some music and tell the students when the music stops they need to shake hands with a partner. Then play music again and next time they need to give a high five when the music stops. 

3. Practicing with songs

Here are some songs where students get to practice shaking hands, hi fiving, hugging, etc.

Dr Jean - Everybody Shake a Hand

Dr. Jean - Hello Friends

Frog Street Press - My School Family

Maple Leaf Learning - Let's Shake Hands

4. Differential reinforcement of other behavior

For a child that really has trouble with this, reinforce any behavior other than "not nice hands." Praise them for every thing they do for a minute. "Good sitting down. Nice quiet hands. I like how you're looking at the book."

5. Extinction / planned ignoring -- times when you can use this

If the function of the behavior is attention-seeking and the target (victim) of the behavior is you, you can put the behavior on extinction: do not acknowledge it at all. Look away, turn away, keep your mouth closed, move away. However, I'm not advocating letting yourself get beat up. You know your own limits. 

6. Explicit teaching

I have two products which will help with explicit teaching of "nice hands."

The first is a cut-and-paste sorting activity.
The second is a sorting activity on Boom Learning.


I hope some of these suggestions help! Let me know in the comments what other strategies you use!



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